Peter Poulsen: 'Hvis jeg var Hamlet'

IF I WAS HAMLET

If I was Hamlet,

I’d buy flowers for Ophelia, English wine gums,

headphones,

              matches, champagne –

I’d invite her on a trip

                 to Florence or Rome.

If I was Hamlet,

I’d give her a cage full of bleeping zebra finches,

              a pair of figure-skates,

              a permanent pass on the Sweden ferries.

If I was Hamlet,

I’d concentrate on my love-life

instead of brooding on the familiar;

              I’d divide up Kronborg

into owner-occupied flats,

move into a house in Fiolgade –

maybe buy a water-bed –

If I was Hamlet,

I’d forget all my gloomy speculations

              and be something more than I am,

instead of just thinking about it.

              I’d not stick my most into my mother’s sex-life,

if I was Hamlet.

I’d face the fact that the old man is dead,

not trudge around in the pitch-dark looking for ghosts

who’ve got nothing but revenge on their minds.

If I was Hamlet,

I’d let Polonius stand behind the arras

just as long as he felt like it:

the addle-pated old fogey –

I’d have refused to travel anywhere

with two such ninnies as Goldilocks and Rosycheeks

or whatever their names are –

If I was Hamlet

I’d go on the town with Horatio

drink draught beer with Frank Jæger,

throw dice with sailors in harbour dives,

chat up Swedish birds,

have my arm tattooed:

              Ophelia, I Love You

it would say,

under a flaming heart –

if I was Hamlet.