Winterzin
Een grijze lucht die urenlang
op sneeuwen stond,
zich inhield, schuchter toen
een handvol vlokken zond
als een belofte voor de nacht
waarin je wakend lag
te slapen tot de dageraad
het sneeuwen niet meer tegenhield
en je gonzend van geluk
de dag begon en uit het zolderraam
de eeuwen en de witbestoven akkers
naast de landweg overzag,
en er niets was dat die vervoering brak –
Winter Sentence
A grey sky which for hours on end
predicted snow
held back, then shyly sent
a fluttering of flakes
as an assurance to the night
in which you while awake
lay sleeping till the break of dawn
no longer held the snow in check
and you – tingling with delight –
began the day and through the attic’s pane
surveyed the centuries and fields white-dusted
bordering the country road,
and nothing broke that sense of ecstasy –
This is a further development of a translation found of this poem in Meander Niewusbrief 30:
ReplyDeletehttps://meandermagazine.nl/2021/07/het-vertalen-van-poezie/
The issue in question is what I tend to call makes a translation 'breathe' as in the original. what I mean by 'breathe' is that which the translation of the words into another language cannot produce. At some point the poem has to be translated by a new poem - and what does that involve? What priorities are important, and what is the price piad for any particular ordering of these piorities - assuming they can be agreed upon?