Interference
The blue night is so silent. I
lie here sleepless.
The silence expands and sounds.
It is the sound of thousands of
miles of emptiness.
It is the monologues of space,
whose rings meet with
circles of toneless time.
My pulse, the hot tautness of my
heart keep me awake,
but I consider things with a cool
mind.
A force passes through my nerves,
and I lie here as if lifeless.
For a long time I think with
ice-cold calm
of the flaming impatience that is
my fate.
Suddenly I feel quite composed
and without my moving
an intolerable pain breaks out in
my consciousness
and dwindles once more.
Tomorrow I will get up
laden with oaths and a zest for
life
as on all other mornings.
Tomorrow I will be confronted
with washbasin, shoe horn,
toothbrush and the whole story,
tobacco and sunshine and draught
Tuborg.
And I confess:
This is either the top price for
human happiness,
faithfully copied,
or a stupid and pitiful fiction.
There is no point in denying it,
I nurture a divisive process in
my head, as
soon as I start thinking.
My consciousness works
sharp-edged.
I destroy out of some urge,
despite myself.
Nothing is true. Nothing is worth
the trouble.
Never has more painful pride been
felt
than that which I alone feel at
the possession of my mind’s
systems of knives.
When the conception of the out-and-out
miracle of the world
is met by the conviction of the finiteness
of all things,
I feel alive.
This creaking of the axles,
the diabolical collision of
physical sounds
release the transcendental
vibrations of pain
that are the form of my innermost
ego.
My consciousness expresses itself
as mental interference.
The very screeching relation
between all otherwise harmonious realities
is the piercing key of my inner
life.
Two diametrically opposed life-consciousnesses
meet and
are sharpened in my heart.
The blue night is so silent. I
lie here sleepless.
The silence expands and sounds,
whines, shrills
It is the sound of thousands of
miles of emptiness
between the grinding stone
planets.
It is the monologues of space,
whose rings meet with
circles of toneless time.
Poems 1906
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