Thursday, 12 April 2018
Translation by Charles Warton Stork (1881-1971) of the Verner von Heidenstam poem
A few comments. CWS has chosen a 10-syllable line throughout. The Swedish poem has 11-11-11-10-11-11-10-10-11-11-10). This gives the translation more a feel of a Shakespearean sonnet (though there are in fact only 11 lines).
The Swedish poem also has a different rhyme scheme: AAA (last one Stockholm-E rhyme [heta/mäta] – my thanks to Ivo Holmqvist for pointing this out) - BCCB - DEED (also Stockholm-E). The rhyme scheme and three-section structure coincide. The break in the rhyme scheme at the end of line 3 coincides with the full stop in the original, but not in the translation. CWS rhymes ABBA-CC-DDEED.
The choice of such words as 'wrath', 'hath' and 'thereto' give the translation an antiquated feel, as does the end-position of 'hath' in line 4. The translation 'reads well', but it has a different feel from von Heidenstam's poem.